1. Do not text "hey". Hay is for horses you jackass.
3. Do not lie and say "This is Tim, remember?" When in fact your name is Billy and you are "testing" the girl. It's not funny and You will fail every time.
5. Do not overuse acronyms. wyd?, wryut?, OMG! WTF? man, you sound like a lazy teenager.
7. Do not ask her to get together right then and there. A girl's gotta plan.
9. Do not text her while drunk. You think it's a good idea at the time but I guarantee you'll make an ass of yourself. Spelling mistakes and missing words are not cute.
This has been a public service announcement. Thank you and you're welcome.