Monday, August 4, 2014

Total Groupies

One of my besties just turned the big 2-9. We celebrated the kickoff to the last year in her twenties with a concert. Not just any concert, a Goo Goo Doll concert. Don't judge me. If you're an avid reader of my blog, you should very well know that the Dolls are just one of the 10 things that I'm grateful for in this life. They're so good live, I can't even stand it! We saw them with Daughtry, who was also really good. (He's funny too). Crush alert! I have a thing for musicians, what can I say?

Amanda and I. #BathroomSelfie 
Super excited for the performance and our homemade band tees. Yes, we are THOSE girls.
It was both of our first times at the Greek Amphitheater. It definitely didn't disappoint. It was an intimate outdoor venue. The weather was just right. Overall it was pretty perfect.
I couldn't ask for a better night. There was booze, the band, and my bestie.
Happy Birthday Amanda! I love you sista!
Have you been to any concerts this summer? Please comment and share below.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Tinder Diaries - Part 3 Feeling totally Clueless

If you read last week's post, you probably noticed that I dropped the bomb that I have decided to quit Tinder. As promised here are the reasons why. It's simple really, I seemed to have stumbled across two types of guys: The random gone missing type and The stage 5 clinger weirdo freak. Like my title descriptions? Don't believe me? Let me refresh your memory with the spontaneous combustion that was Alex. After Alex, there was:

Crossfit guy who texted me daily pictures of his Target purchases. I love Tar-J and all but who goes there that much?! I don't need to see that you're buying new socks. Especially when you should be buying me dinner. Drinks would be ideal in this situation to find said pictures moderately entertaining.
After Crossfit guy, there was Lion guy. Lion guy texted me YouTube videos of lions. Yes, lions. Why he did this, I have no idea. He just came back from a Safari? Was he planning to go on a Safari? He has an extreme lion fetish? I became confused. The only thing I could think was lions and tigers and bears, oh my!
Lion guy led to Hungry guy. Hungry guy would text me asking if he should order pizza. I'm an extreme carb lover so my vote is always going to be yes when it comes to pizza. Turns out Hungry guy wasn't in the mood for pizza. Hungry guy wasn't in the mood for a sandwich, pasta, or any of my suggestions for that matter. Thai food was the object of Hungry guys desire. Now that we got that settled, I had to break the news that I was not in fact the delivery service number for Thai food. After the great food debate with Hungry guy, I figured he must have been:
Hungry guy led to Video guy. This one really freaked out my friends. He would send videos instead of text messages. Videos of him playing the guitar, Videos of him walking and talking, Videos of him explaining why the last video he tried to make didn't end up working out to his liking. I should also mention that Video guy was on a lone camping trip in the wilderness and also sent me videos of him chopping wood.
After the freakiness of Video guy I felt impotent and out of control, which Cher Horowitz and I really hate. I decided to give it one last shot and that's when I stumbled across Stage five Clinger guy. Stage five Clinger was in Remission from Cancer. 5 years cancer free! Wohoo! But he had chronic pain causing him to depend on pain medication. At first he led me to believe that he was a positive, silver lining type that was trying to get a new procedure that would enable him to go back to work as a police officer. In reality he didn't have a job, was heavily medicated, slept all day, missed his doctor's appointments, and had pictures that were 5 years old on his profile. Not to mention that he called and texted me about 75-125 times a day.
Stage five Clinger guy really left me feeling sad and icky. I mean:
None of these guys and I made it on an actual date. I just couldn't go through with any of them face to face because:
That being said. Searching for a guy on Tinder is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.
Has dating in this day and age made everyone totally clueless? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Comment below!

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Cupcakes for Kylie Auction update

If you all remember I took part in a live auction supporting Cupcakes for Kylie. I am happy to update that the auction raised $14,217.36 for baby Kylie and her family :) Thank you to all who helped get the word out and to all who participated! I'm filing this one under "Success".  Thanks again all!

 If you would like to follow up on brave baby warrior Kylie, check out the family's Facebook page.

Friday, July 11, 2014

Week in Review

I apologize for slacking off on blogging this past week but in my defense, I was one busy girl! So let me catch you up on what's been going on with this weekly round up:

I spent the 4th of July at my best friend, Sara's new house. She had a family style BBQ. (Well, she had it catered) buuuut, she did cook a bunch of yummy appetizers and desserts herself. It was a great time with a great group. We capped off the night with a few rounds of margarita pong. Like beer pong but we upgraded with margaritas. It was just like old times, with the added bonus of fireworks in the background. My only complaint was the poppers being used as a tactic of distraction. Ultimately they worked! My teams lost every round.

Best part of the night was when I finally convinced Sara's husband John to turn on some Classic Rock. "Pour some sugar on me" turned into a movie montage of "Flashdance". Priceless:

I spent part of my 3 day weekend working on my line. I'm happy to say that my mission to find the perfect tank top has been completed. I've found the most fabulous flowy racerback tanks that are oh so soft. They are exactly what I was looking for. And so, my tank top line has officially come to life!

    My Hamsa tank tops are $19 each and are available for purchase via my etsy shop: StarrJoy16.
Use coupon code: BLOGLOVER at checkout to receive 15% off your entire purchase through                        the month of July. More designs are coming to the shop very soon!

On Sunday I had my second NET session. What is NET you might ask? It's defined as a mind-body technique that uses a methodology of finding and removing neurological imbalances related to the physiology of unresolved stress.
Have you ever heard of the technique of putting your arm out and having someone push lightly down on your arm while you resist the push? The pushing and resisting is being done while you say statements. Your body reacts differently depending on if your body really believes the statement that's being said to be true. Example: "My name is Starr". My resistance would be strong because I in fact believe that my name is Starr (even though it's a weird name). "I love getting speeding tickets" would cause my arm to easily be pushed down because I in fact do not like getting speeding tickets. See how cool it is? Think of it kind of like a lie detector. I've found out some interesting things about myself so far. I will share with a follow-up post!

After NET I felt energized and fabulous. I headed to lunch with my girl Amanda. Cocktails anyone?

Monday night was standard bachelorette night. The cuts are coming hard and fast. Andi started the episode with four suitors and only three remained. I must say this is the best group of guys I think I've ever seen on this show.
There's Nick the mysterious asshole type and Josh the hot baseball player:

On the sweet side we have Chris the tractor loving farmer and Marcus the take my breath away romantic:
I'm not gonna lie, I see Andi choosing baseball Josh. I think they fit the best together and can totally see her with him. As for Chris and/or Marcus I can totally see either one of them with ME! *Sigh* I'm just sayin' a girl can dream right?
Since we're talking about love and romance and whatnot, I think I should tell you that I did it. Yes friends, I quit Tinder. I know, I know. But after the disastrous installment of the Tinder diaries part 1 and the hideous follow-up Tinder diaries part 2, I was left feeling discouraged and icky. I will follow up on this soon and give you more details as to the build up of what caused me to delete Tinder. Fret not though, I haven't sworn off internet/phone app/whatever dating altogether! You will still be able to follow up on my interesting (for lack of better word) dating life. C'mon friends don't leave friends hanging. You'll still be able to catch up on the latest. Hip hip hooray! Until next time!

Friday, July 4, 2014

Happy 4th of July!

Happy 4th of July from StarrJoy16.  Take 16% off of everything in my shop as part of the celebration! Room d├ęcor, Jewelry, baby onesies, and adult tanks included :)
Use coupon code: STRIPES16 at checkout!

Hope your day is filled with hot dogs, fireworks, laughter with loved ones, and of course alcohol!


Monday, June 30, 2014

Finding the perfect tank top

As you know, I started turning my artwork into wearable art via my jewelry line and most recently baby onesies. Which I couldn't be more proud of by the way :) Turns out adults want to get in on the action and wear my designs too! Hip hip hooray! Obviously onesies for adults would just be plain wrong and weird, so I've decided to make junior and adult tank tops for ladies! The past few weeks have been full of a lot of trial and error, mostly error, in trying to find the perfect tank top.

Ideally my favorite is a racerback tank top with a soft flowy fit. Finding the right material blend has been a problemo because the heat press machine that I work with normally work best with 100% cotton material. It tends to scorch the other blends :(  I'm still looking for the perfect blend and wont stop until I get it dammit!

I hope you enjoyed the sneak peek of what's to come from StarrJoy16 Stay tuned for an update of my journey to finding the perfect tank top and of course the release of tank tops in my shop! Until then, what's your favorite type of tank top? Please comment below and tell me what style of top you would like to see my designs on :)


Friday, June 27, 2014

The Tinder Diaries - Part 2 - Spontaneous Combustion

As I sit here writing this on, Wednesday, I almost forgot what day it was. Maybe that's because I didn't have Hump day guy texting me to remind me. Just an update on him before we move on to bachelor number two. Hump day guy ended up texting me two weeks after we last left off. His text of choice was "Drinks?" I replied "no thanks". I like to think that I'm the type of girl that deserves a complete sentence.
Anyway, moving on to bachelor number two. Who I've decided to call Alex. Alex and I started chatting it up via Tinder. He's 31 and just recently moved to California. He's an ex firefighter that started up his own business and loves to surf. I didn't even hesitate in giving him my digits. He texted me right away and we began a flirty banter back and forth. He tried to make plans with me right away but I already had plans for the weekend in suggestion. My friends and I were headed to the Broccoli Festival. He texted asking me for a picture, so I sent this selfie:

He told me I was beautiful and that he loved my smile. Yeah yeah yeah.. So I asked for a picture in which I received crickets...aka nothing... I was really confused by this. He finally responded with "I don't do selfies". Ok...says the guy that has nothing but selfies up on his Tinder profile. My friend Sara was convinced that there was something wrong with his face. Like he had gotten in some sort of tragic accident in recent weeks and turned into the elephant man. I don't get it. What guy refuses to send a picture to a girl AFTER asking for one himself?! Red Flag #1.

Selfie-gate led to a week of no communication. He finally texted me asking me if I had plans for the weekend. I did, it was Mother's day weekend. I told him that it would be better to make plans with me in advance, the following weekend was looking better. He responded with "ok, great, talk to you next weekend". What the fuck?! Red Flag #2.

Two weeks later I received a text from Alex saying "I guess it wasn't meant to be". I responded by saying that I hadn't heard from him so I assumed that he was no longer interested. He stated that he was still very interested and would love to meet. Ok, fine, whatever. We agree to meet that Sunday for Dinner since he was planning on going surfing that morning.

It's 2:30pm and there are no set plans, so I text Alex asking for the details. At 5:50pm he texts me that he's "just getting out of the water". I know I'm blonde and I live in southern California but I don't surf. Never have. Who the fuck knew that surfing in the morning lasts for 12 hours throughout the day?! My mentality was that I didn't hear back from him, so I made other plans for dinner and decided to meet up with good ol Amanda for drinks after. I wait around for no man dammit. Alex lives a good hour away, so it isn't my fault that he was too busy splashing around to coordinate a plan of action. Priorities Alex, priorities. He tells me that he's really upset about my change of plans and asks if he can meet me where Amanda and I are going for drinks. It will be fun, he said. He'll bring a friend, he said. Amanda is my wing woman so at this point we had the attitude of sure, why the hell not?!

Alex was right. It was a lot of fun. The four of us hung out at a little dive bar and spent the entire night playing darts, talking, laughing, and drinking (this one paid for my drinks). I was really attracted to him. I'm happy to tell you that he didn't have any facial imperfections and wasn't the Scarface that Sara was imagining him to be. My only complaint was that he was wearing flip flops. This grosses me out like no other. Put on some shoes man. This isn't the beach. Nobody wants to see man feet. I overlooked the sandal issue because he was really cool and well, really hot too. The date ended on a good note with "some amazing kisses" as Alex put it.

The next day....
Alex was texting me up a storm telling me what a great time he had and asking when he could see me again. He wanted to help me with my line, StarrJoy16 and had a bunch of ideas to get my business going. This is all sounding great, right?! Right. After a few days of texting, I told him I was available for dinner the next day, Thursday. So naturally, Alex went mute. Total crickets status. Maybe Thursday wasn't a good day for him. Maybe his phone broke. Maybe he was bipolar. I was beginning to see a pattern with Alex and must admit that the hot and cold act turns me off so I decided to lay low for a couple of days.

Early Saturday morning, I woke up to a text from Alex at 2:08am. It said "hi". Red Flag #3. I'm no booty call. I didn't respond. Saturday at 2:12pm I received another text from him saying "hey". I'm not a horse, so again, I didn't respond.

Sunday at 4:15pm, Alex texted me "I hope everything is ok...". I responded letting him know that I was great. I just didn't think that HE was so great. I had a really great time with his sandal loving self but think he's kind of random, i.e. leaving me hanging for the Thursday dinner and the doucheness factor of the early Saturday morning text. Alex reasoned that he had gotten home from a birthday party and was thinking about me and wanted to say hi. Aww so sweet, right? I call bullshit.

Nonetheless he asked me if I wanted to drop everything and go fishing so that he could cook what we caught as dinner for me that night. I decided to pass. I had shit to do, like laundry and keep up with the Kardashians. Also, I don't even like fish. I stressed again that "I'm not really a spontaneous kind of gal" to which he responded with "Ehh". Say that out loud, will you. "Ehh". After his random shenanigans, he has the nerve to text me with "Ehh"?! I responded asking him what that meant and you guessed it folks, crickets.

With the super fun date over and the strong physical attraction fizzling, Alex and I  combusted. We're on different pages when it comes to priorities and basic etiquette. I think it's pretty obvious that Alex and I are not a match.

A full two weeks later I received another text from Alex saying "hello little lady". I couldn't help but think "Ehh goodbye". So long Alex. On to the next!

I'd love to know your thoughts on my dating life. Tips, stories, and advice are all welcome! Feel free to comment and share below. And of course stay tuned for more.


Monday, June 23, 2014

Stronger by Jeff Bauman - Book Review

My family is from Boston. Majority of my family pronounce my name (Starr) like "Stahhh". There's a love and a sense of family when it comes to Boston. It's a wicked good place if I ever knew one. The tightknit community was rattled with the tragedy of the Boston Marathon bombings in 2013.
My cousin was supposed to participate in the marathon but had a change of plans. Nonetheless, she, along with the rest of the community took the Boston Marathon bombing very hard. 

If you remember, The Boston Marathon Bombings and following related shootings were a series of
attacks and incidents which began on April 15, 2013, when two pressure cooker bombs exploded during the Marathon at 2:49 pm, killing 3 people and injuring an estimated 264 others. The bombs exploded about 12 seconds and 210 yards apart, near the finish line on Boylston Street. It only took a matter of seconds to change countless lives forever.

Jeff Bauman was waiting on the sidelines and cheering for his girlfriend who was running in the marathon. He saw the bomber and later helped identify him. Jeff lost both of his legs in the attack and recounts his personal struggle with dealing with becoming an amputee. His brave battle had me in tears every other chapter. He speaks with such genuine heart that is truly inspiring. Jeff Bauman is a hero (even though he absolutely hates being called that). His story touched me so much. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a positive boost. I found the story to be motivational and uplifting. A light can't shine without darkness. And Jeff is a true star. Jeff Bauman is stronger.

                             What are you reading this summer? Feel free to share and comment below.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Cupcakes for Kylie - Auction is THIS sunday 6/22

If you have been reading my blog as religiously as you should, you know that I have been posting about baby Kylie, a gorgeous little gem diagnosed with stage 4 high risk Neuroblastoma. This past week her family has posted several positive status updates on Facebook that show Kylie taking a turn for the better! Yay for Kylie! She's a strong little warrior indeed!

I am happy to announce that the live Auction on Instagram has gotten the green light. It is scheduled for this Sunday, June 22nd. It begins at 7:00 am Pacific Standard time and will end at 7:00 pm. Participate by following @CupcakesforKylie on Instagram. Along with Jewelry from my line, StarrJoy16, you will be able to bid on other handmade items, services, and gift cards as well. You can follow on Instagram NOW and get a sneak peek at some of the awesome items up for grabs!

Every little bit helps! 100% of the proceeds go directly to Kylie and her family to aid in their brave cancer battle.

Thank you all for your love, support, and prayers!

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

A Bachelorette for not TUTU longer - Part 1

I took a month long hiatus in April because I was a very busy bee. I was the Maid of Honor (one hell of a maid of honor, I may add) in my best friend's wedding. I took my duties seriously! For those who don't remember, I cohosted a beautiful bridal shower with my bestie's mom. It was seriously spectacular! Next on the docket was hosting an awesome Bachelorette party. Here's the lowdown.

Every good bachelorette party needs an awesome theme. Ours was 'A bachelorette for not tutu longer' complete with a tutu scavenger hunt! (I know, right?).

Let me rewind a little so I can give you the full details. The bachelorette, Sara wanted a weekend away with her best girlfriends. So 18 of us (yes 18) rented  a gorgeous mansion in La Jolla, CA. It was fabulous to say the least. As our friend Heather put it, 'I feel like a housewife of Beverly Hills' err, make that San Diego!

We arrived at the mansion on Friday afternoon and decorated up a storm. There were glitter penis banners (stay tuned for an upcoming tutorial), Inflatable penises, party masks, penis pasta etc.. etc...

*Party supplies and custom made "Mrs. Thompson" pantsuit that we surprised Sara with.
And yes, drunk Barbie is in fact wearing a tutu.
As hostess with the mostess I was definitely proud of the penis platters on display.
Once Sara arrived, the games started! First up was drinking rounds.
Pretty self explained.
Next up was dirty charades:
*The game wasn't just charades, it also included truth or dares if your team didn't guess the charade.
This game definitely brought on a lot of rowdiness (mostly from me, I've told you that I'm highly competitive) My team won, for the record! But more importantly it brought on a ton of laughs. There's nothing like watching the shyest girl in the room act out her dare of standing on the couch singing "I'm a little teapot" at the top of her lungs or like watching the bride to be's sister in law acting out "Gang Bang". Hilarious!

            We had other games lined up, but for some reason we kept going back to this one.

                                 *My co-maid of honor Kelly C., The bachelorette, Sara, and me.

Once the games died down, the girls gravitated towards the hot tub to rejuvenate for day 2 of the shenanigans. It was the perfect way to end our low key night. Stay tuned for
Saturday's activities and part 2 of Sara's bachelorette for not tutu longer weekend.


Monday, June 16, 2014

All signs point to YES

You should all know by now that I'm a big believer in the Anything could happen factor. So if you're finding yourself with doubt or questions, consider me your magic 8 ball, because the answer is a very positive 'Yes'. Unless of course your question was along the lines of 'Am I going to get demoted at work' or 'Is my boyfriend cheating on me?' Then I'd clearly have to change my answer to 'I don't know'. (I'm sorry but I don't have all of the answers nor do I know what's going on in your bosses mind or your boyfriend's pants). That being said, I hope you have a fantastic Monday and get out there and make the day yours because Yes you are fabulous and Yes you can make it happen!


Friday, June 13, 2014

StarrJoy16 - For the little ones

I am so excited to announce that StarrJoy16 is expanding to include unique and awesome (if I do say so myself)  Baby onesies. It's been a year in the making and a total labor of love. Here are some samples of what's in stock from my Etsy store.

All images are designed by yours truly. Each onesie retails for $16.00 Current available sizes are 6-9 months and 12 months. I can always take custom order requests for different sizes. Toddler t-shirts coming soon! Visit my shop to see the full collection. And of course keep checking back for the latest :)


Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Cupcakes for Kylie - Live Auction Update

Just an update on Cupcakes for Kylie, the live Auction will be held on Sunday, June 22nd 2014, exact time is to be determined. 100% of proceeds will go to Kylie and her family. Kylie is a brave little warrior battling stage 4 high risk neuroblastoma. Any and all help is appreciated.
Please follow on Instagram @cupcakesforKylie for daily information.

Monday, June 9, 2014

The Tinder Diaries - Part 1 - Getting over the hump

Welcome to the first installment of the Tinder Diaries. If you need a recap, click here. If you're up to speed, read further. We last left off with me signing up for Tinder and having a short lived excitement about how many matches I had. With hesitation, I proceeded to chat with my many matches and found myself feeling comfortable with one in particular, We shall call him Jay. Jay is 34, works in Marketing, loves dogs as well as the outdoors. We also have a mutual friend in common.

After about a week chatting through Tinder, he asked for my number and said we should 'meet up for drinks'. First thought: Do guys not buy a girl dinner anymore? Asking a girl to meet for drinks is kind of like setting up an audition to see if I'm worthy enough to actually take out on a date. Nevertheless, I agreed and gave him my number because after all, all of the cool kids are doing it these days.

A few days of texting led to a phone call from Jay. I was pleased that he didn't have a girly voice and seemed happy go lucky and cheery. It was a short 20 minute chat and all in all I'd say a success. I was able to dig a little bit deeper during the conversation and find out that Jay is 5 ft 9. Red-flag number 2. Those who know me well know I'm a total height snob. I'm only 5 ft 3 myself but always seem to date guys over 6 ft. Let me state that I'm not a total bitch, I just know what I'm attracted to. But he looked cute and rugged in his pictures and seemed fairly normal, so we agreed that we should go out for said drinks on that coming Saturday, which was a few days later.

Cut to Saturday, the day of the drinks. I was out running errands and hanging with some girlfriends when I received a text from Jay at 3:30pm asking 'what are you up to?' I gave him my status to which he replied 'Just got home from the beach, going to workout'. Ok cool guy. I asked 'Are we still on for drinks later?' Jay tells me he's good if I am.... I ask if he has a place and time in mind... he says he'll call me on the way home from the gym. Ok, great.

It's now 5:40pm with no phone call, text, or update from Jay. This annoys me. I call my girlfriend, Amanda to discuss my annoyance. Dating gives me such anxiety. I'm a total planner. One that likes to know where I'm going and what time so I can figure out appropriate outfit choices and give myself plenty of time to get ready and shave my legs if need be. Amanda knows this about me so she suggests to ease my nerves we pick a spot, go for a drink and invite Jay along or meet up with him after. Someone has to take the bull by the horns so I texted Jay telling him the plan, 'I'll be at the tipsy goat with some friends at 8:30pm'. Jay thinks this is great, he loves the tipsy goat. Well isn't that just fantastic?!

It's now 8:40pm at the tipsy goat, my friends and I are sitting on the patio outside, ordering drinks when Jay makes his arrival. He's short. Shorter than 5 ft 9. I'd honestly say he's 5 ft7 on a good day. He's rugged like in his pictures but looks a lot older in person. I can tell that he definitely likes the outdoors, he should seriously start using sunscreen. I don't want to say the word wrinkles... but... wrinkles.
*Here's my wing woman, Amanda and I sneaking in a bathroom selfie that oddly resembles one of those mall shots that we all used to take in high school.

After introducions and a few drinks, we decided to head inside the bar where we could play games such as shuffleboard and darts. Amanda and I are highly competitive so we got really into wanting to beat everyone willing to play us. We were all laughing and hooting and hollering and whatnot and dare I say having a good time! And that's when it happened, I can't believe I found him. I found Waldo! I was so happy to have achieved this! I think he was happy too. Jay decided to call his friend to come join in on the shenanigans. I think he just needed someone else on his team because Amanda and I were killing it!

Enter Mark. Very tall, very goodlooking, and rugged in all of the right kind of ways. He looked like a lumberjack. I'm pretty sure I even mentioned this to him. Amanda looked at me and mouthed that Mark was more my type than Jay. So sad. How exactly does one pull off the old I came here to date him but I'd rather date you switcheroo?! No go. Nevertheless, everyone ended up leaving the same way that they came. Mark and Jay each went home alone and I left with my friends.

All in all I'd say the date was fine. I'm not looking for 'fine'. Don't get me wrong, Jay is a really nice guy. I wouldn't say he's someone that I wouldn't ever want to be friends with, but it's safe to say that the friend zone is where he will be staying. Apparently Jay put me in the friend zone as well, because the next day he texted me with 'That was fun, we should do it again sometime'. Sometime?! If you're romantically interested in a girl you don't utter the word 'sometime'. To me that's like saying I should get my car smogged sometime or paint my whole house sometime. Yes, those would be good things to do sometime.

Or did Jay put me in the friend zone? This is what really confuses me. The following week, Jay texted me with 'How was your weekend?' It was great, thanks. Then another week later, I got the same text 'How was your weekend?' Are we starting to notice a pattern here? Why do guys do that? I almost feel that they try to keep a connection to save for a rainy day. At the same time they don't officially put themselves out there because it's not like they're technically asking you out so if you were to go mute, they wouldn't technically take it as rejection. Newsflash, this is why you're turning 35 and still single.

My friend, Sara suggested that I let Jay know that I am not interested in him. I agree, Jay needs to be informed. It's been 3 weeks since we went out, I haven't seen or talked to him (besides great weekend text updates). But I feel awkward responding to 'How was your weekend?' with 'I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in dating you, take care now'. I decided to do the phase out method unless he decided to grow a pair and ask me out again, in that case I'd be honest.

The following Wednesday I received yet another text from Jay, but this time it wasn't the 'How was your weekend?' text that I was expecting. It was 'Guess what day it is?' Immediately followed by 'It's hump day!' and an Emoji of a camel. I kid you not! It's just... I mean.... seriously?! Seriously! I have no words. I cut it off cold turkey right there and then. Ignoring the text and blocking him from Tinder. Hopefully he'll get it. I'm sorry if I sound like a total bitch but I just can't. I already have a calendar, so there's really no use for Jay. Let's all bid farewell to Jay as he rides off into the sunset on his camel.

                           Be sure and stay tuned for the next edition of The Tinder Diaries.

Friday, June 6, 2014

What the What? - Jessica Simpson is starting to resemble Heidi Montag

Let me start off by saying that I adore Jessica Simpson. I think she is beautiful and talented and all things spunky and sweet. I commend her recent weight loss and am the first to give her a round of applause on her success. However, I've noticed with the recent shedding, she seems to look a little weathered. Dare I say less glowy and more plastic-ish, not to mention orangeish. With her new slick straight hair I couldn't help but notice that she resembles none other than (gasp) Heidi Montag, who is most famous for her hills as well as having 10 plastic surgery procedures in the span of one day. That list includes: Botox, nose job revision, mini brow lift, chin reduction, fat injections in her cheeks and lips, breast augmentation revision (to go to a DDD- wowza), liposuction on waist and thighs, ears pinned back, buttocks augmentation, and neck liposuction. Seriously.  And to this I say what the what?!

It's starting to freak me out a little bit. Women need to stop going to such extremes to feel "beautiful". I hope J-Simps gets it together. I anticipate her being able to draw the line and back away from the self tanner immediately before she completely goes overboard and regrets it like Heidi. Just sayin.