Sunday, September 22, 2013

Saying "No" is sometimes saying "Yes".

Do you have a difficult time saying the word "No"? Whether it's the fear of disappointing others, letting people down, or worrying that you wont be liked, saying "No" can be hard! But so is being the go to girl for, well, everything.
Need a study partner and help writing that final paper for that course you're taking? Starr will be your teammate. Need someone to stay late at work after already putting in 10 hours without getting paid overtime? Starr's your girl. Need a wing woman to attend that one guy's second cousin's birthday party? Ask Starr. Need someone to take your sick grandma to the hospital because you simply can't find the time? Don't worry, Starr to the rescue!
I lived my life like this for many exhausting years. I ran myself ragged by putting other peoples needs and wants ahead of my own. Enough is enough! I am drawing the line in the sand and announcing once and for all that I am not a doormat to be walked all over and dumped on with the crap of others.
Ever notice how 2 year old toddlers have no problem saying "no" to something that displeases them? In fact, they will go to great lengths just to let you know how much they DO NOT want to do something. Wal-Mart is a fabulous place to bear witness to this act of declaration. Not to worry, I wont be throwing myself on the ground in a screaming tantrum. I'll be more of a healthy mix of a 2 year old and a Buddhist. I love the Buddhist saying on airplanes, "Putting your oxygen mask on before assisting others, is a selfless teaching". The reason for putting your mask on first, is the Buddhist parallel; You'll be no good to anyone if you don't remain conscious. The fat little man has an excellent point, doesn't he?

So, if you are like me, and have been saying "no" to yourself while saying yes to everyone and everything else, it's time to pivot that bad boy around. Join me in making sure your needs are being met before extending that helping hand to anyone else. Ready to start saying no?!

1 comment:

  1. Well said!! I've recently made the same adjustment in my life, and it is SO nice :)