Friday, June 27, 2014

The Tinder Diaries - Part 2 - Spontaneous Combustion

As I sit here writing this on, Wednesday, I almost forgot what day it was. Maybe that's because I didn't have Hump day guy texting me to remind me. Just an update on him before we move on to bachelor number two. Hump day guy ended up texting me two weeks after we last left off. His text of choice was "Drinks?" I replied "no thanks". I like to think that I'm the type of girl that deserves a complete sentence.
Anyway, moving on to bachelor number two. Who I've decided to call Alex. Alex and I started chatting it up via Tinder. He's 31 and just recently moved to California. He's an ex firefighter that started up his own business and loves to surf. I didn't even hesitate in giving him my digits. He texted me right away and we began a flirty banter back and forth. He tried to make plans with me right away but I already had plans for the weekend in suggestion. My friends and I were headed to the Broccoli Festival. He texted asking me for a picture, so I sent this selfie:

 
He told me I was beautiful and that he loved my smile. Yeah yeah yeah.. So I asked for a picture in return....to which I received crickets...aka nothing... I was really confused by this. He finally responded with "I don't do selfies". Ok...says the guy that has nothing but selfies up on his Tinder profile. My friend Sara was convinced that there was something wrong with his face. Like he had gotten in some sort of tragic accident in recent weeks and turned into the elephant man. I don't get it. What guy refuses to send a picture to a girl AFTER asking for one himself?! Red Flag #1.

Selfie-gate led to a week of no communication. He finally texted me asking me if I had plans for the weekend. I did, it was Mother's day weekend. I told him that it would be better to make plans with me in advance, the following weekend was looking better. He responded with "ok, great, talk to you next weekend". What the fuck?! Red Flag #2.

Two weeks later I received a text from Alex saying "I guess it wasn't meant to be". I responded by saying that I hadn't heard from him so I assumed that he was no longer interested. He stated that he was still very interested and would love to meet. Ok, fine, whatever. We agree to meet that Sunday for Dinner since he was planning on going surfing that morning.

Sunday:
It's 2:30pm and there are no set plans, so I text Alex asking for the details. At 5:50pm he texts me that he's "just getting out of the water". I know I'm blonde and I live in southern California but I don't surf. Never have. Who the fuck knew that surfing in the morning lasts for 12 hours throughout the day?! My mentality was that I didn't hear back from him, so I made other plans for dinner and decided to meet up with good ol Amanda for drinks after. I wait around for no man dammit. Alex lives a good hour away, so it isn't my fault that he was too busy splashing around to coordinate a plan of action. Priorities Alex, priorities. He tells me that he's really upset about my change of plans and asks if he can meet me where Amanda and I are going for drinks. It will be fun, he said. He'll bring a friend, he said. Amanda is my wing woman so at this point we had the attitude of sure, why the hell not?!

Alex was right. It was a lot of fun. The four of us hung out at a little dive bar and spent the entire night playing darts, talking, laughing, and drinking (this one paid for my drinks). I was really attracted to him. I'm happy to tell you that he didn't have any facial imperfections and wasn't the Scarface that Sara was imagining him to be. My only complaint was that he was wearing flip flops. This grosses me out like no other. Put on some shoes man. This isn't the beach. Nobody wants to see man feet. I overlooked the sandal issue because he was really cool and well, really hot too. The date ended on a good note with "some amazing kisses" as Alex put it.

The next day....
Alex was texting me up a storm telling me what a great time he had and asking when he could see me again. He wanted to help me with my line, StarrJoy16 and had a bunch of ideas to get my business going. This is all sounding great, right?! Right. After a few days of texting, I told him I was available for dinner the next day, Thursday. So naturally, Alex went mute. Total crickets status. Maybe Thursday wasn't a good day for him. Maybe his phone broke. Maybe he was bipolar. I was beginning to see a pattern with Alex and must admit that the hot and cold act turns me off so I decided to lay low for a couple of days.

Early Saturday morning, I woke up to a text from Alex at 2:08am. It said "hi". Red Flag #3. I'm no booty call. I didn't respond. Saturday at 2:12pm I received another text from him saying "hey". I'm not a horse, so again, I didn't respond.

Sunday at 4:15pm, Alex texted me "I hope everything is ok...". I responded letting him know that I was great. I just didn't think that HE was so great. I had a really great time with his sandal loving self but think he's kind of random, i.e. leaving me hanging for the Thursday dinner and the doucheness factor of the early Saturday morning text. Alex reasoned that he had gotten home from a birthday party and was thinking about me and wanted to say hi. Aww so sweet, right? I call bullshit.

Nonetheless he asked me if I wanted to drop everything and go fishing so that he could cook what we caught as dinner for me that night. I decided to pass. I had shit to do, like laundry and keep up with the Kardashians. Also, I don't even like fish. I stressed again that "I'm not really a spontaneous kind of gal" to which he responded with "Ehh". Say that out loud, will you. "Ehh". After his random shenanigans, he has the nerve to text me with "Ehh"?! I responded asking him what that meant and you guessed it folks, crickets.

With the super fun date over and the strong physical attraction fizzling, Alex and I  combusted. We're on different pages when it comes to priorities and basic etiquette. I think it's pretty obvious that Alex and I are not a match.

A full two weeks later I received another text from Alex saying "hello little lady". I couldn't help but think "Ehh goodbye". So long Alex. On to the next!

I'd love to know your thoughts on my dating life. Tips, stories, and advice are all welcome! Feel free to comment and share below. And of course stay tuned for more.

                                                                             XOXO

25 comments:

  1. This brings back so many memories for me of when I was single. I lived this!

    You're right. You guys do not fit. And he is not making you a priority and it's only the very beginning. It only gets worse so imagine him after 5 or 10 years LOL. He is not ready for a girlfriend or he already has one. That's my opinion. You're adorable, funny, smart. You'll have no problem finding someone better!! In the meantime HAVE FUN!

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    1. Thank you so much! I needed a positive boost! Where are all of the guys that are willing to put in effort? I'm determined to meet one!

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  2. Ok I know the liklihood of this is slim to NONE, but I also live in Southern California and had a guy who went to college with me ALSO named Alex (and sorta looks like that picture, but you blurred his eyes) who would text me like this and we had a random night hang out at a dive bar and I'm definitely thinking it could be the saaame guy! So weird. Or we just had two very parallel experiences a few years apart. But anyway, drop him!

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    1. Hahaha, That's hilarious. Guys like these are a dime a dozen. I changed his name, it isn't really Alex and he moved to southern California 6 months ago.

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  3. Yeah sounds like too many red flags.

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  4. Yeah, definitely bye bye Alex! lol

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  5. lol at least your date went okay and he bought your drinks!

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  6. hahaha I laughed up a storm reading this but sounds typical of "booty" call dudes these day, they dont want to get attached or start something they just want the booty and bolt

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  7. Men... Its so difficult to find one worth your time and effort. They are out there tho... don't give up! :)

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  8. Yikes! He sounded so good and then it went so badly. Bummer!

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  9. Never ignore the red flags, they can save you from so much

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    1. I think that's the true moral of the story. Pay attention to the flags! lol. I'll be doing that from now on :)

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  10. Random would be the exact way to describe him! Too many red flags, so my thoughts on Alex - ehh.

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  11. omg...what a tool. seriously, what is wrong with him?!

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  12. wow.. i am living a little vicariously through your experiences.. even though it may feel a little "eh" for you. it def seems more exciting to me to have bachelor #1, 2, 3! :) Hopefully the next one won't be as douchey. I think #2 can do some growing up.

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  13. I am loving your stories. What a total bag of tools. None the less, I love that you dont sell your self short!

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  14. You look super cute in that hat, lady! :)

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  15. Thank you all for your support ladies! It's hard not to be discouraged with the amount of tools I've seen. You'd think I was in a hardware store! I'll keep you posted on the next bachelor.... :)

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  16. Seriously, he sounds crazy. Haha. No one needs that kind of flip flopping in their lives!

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